Monday, May 12, 2014

What's in a Weekend 26: Mother's Day

Three years ago, I was having my final semester exams for uni.
Three years ago, I found out my mom was unwell.

Three years ago 17th September 2011, she left.

The few things I really regret in life right now is that she did not get to see me graduate on time.
And another is that I don't really have much photos with her.

I'm really envious of people who's still able to spend time with their mom still.
And I kinda frown at people who sometimes complain that their mother nags at them all the time.

I was like that once.
I take them all back.

I visited her a few months back, back when it was "Cheng Beng" or what you call an All Souls Day for Buddhists. 
I still couldn't believe she was gone.

I can still remember holding back tears when the doctor told me I was very strong because I wasn't crying when I found out that my mother had only less than 6 months left. 
I couldn't because I was the eldest in the family.

My mom, who is the healthiest person I know,
does not take drugs/alcohol/too much fried stuff/smoke
can end up with stage 4 (if I'm not mistaken) cancer.

having ONLY less than 6 months with your mother.

having to watch her grow frail day by day.
Until at one point, only skin and bones were left.

I still did not spend enough time during her last few months with her because I was travelling back and forth Kampar. 
She insisted that I continue studying.

That day I had Portfolio Management, was the day I did not rush back to see her in time.
I was crying on the bus all the way back, people around me thought I've gone bonkers.

I never wanted to head back to take that stupid final paper actually, but she insisted.
Education was VERY important to her.

And her dying wish was that I graduate.

Daddy told me until her last breath, she still believed in miracles and that she would make it for my graduation.
When I got home, I cried so hard.

I wanted her to be there when I walk down the aisle, or when I have children.
But God wanted her more.

I'm afraid of forgetting how she sounds like, a few years down the road.
I hope I never will.

Happy Mother's Day mii.
I hope you and Lucy are well.

I know how much you dislike animals but Lucy can be really obedient sometimes.

Much much love.

bunnymama signing off


Sitiiz said...

I miss her badly too!!! she the best aunty I ever had...

Princess Bunny said...